Ü ÜßÝ Ü Ü Ü ßÝ ßÝ Ý Ý Ý Ý Û Ý Ý Ý BLaH Ý ß Ý ÜßÜ Ý Ý File ÝßÜ Ý Ý ÝßÝÜÝ Written Oct. 1st, 1992 #032 Ý Ýig Ýong Üßß Ýnd Ý Ýairy Ý Ý Ý Þ Ý Ý Ý ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ Presents Ú ÄÄ ¿ "For a Limited Time" ³ by ³ Constantine À ÄÄ Ù Hey! You, there! Yes, you, with the dark glasses and the "I Heart The Illuminati/I Club Eris" lapel button! Are you sick of the Kennedy assassination yet? Does your nose curl when someone starts rambling about the "magic bullet" theory? Do you fly into a homicidal rage when some schmuck insists on explaining his personal ideas (it was the post office!) for the eightieth time? Hang on to your hats, kids! Here it comes again! It's the limited edition Kennedy Assassination Chess Set. For the low-low price of of only $89.99 a month (plus $200/month shipping and handling), the Franklin Mint will send you a new piece every month until the year 3842. Each piece comes with a certificate of authenticity, signed and numbered by sculptor Fnord William Shea. Just look at these beautiful, hand-painted masterpieces! The spray of pewter blood from J.F.K's demolished skull, the anatomically correct splatter of brains on Jackie's pillbox hat, Governor Connoly's pants soiled with real barium, and the perfectly reproduced rifles in Oswald's hand (with opposite-pointing shadows!) You couldn't possibly find a more tasteful and distinctive addition to your home decor, and if you order NOW you'll recieve a handsome Grassy Knoll playing board to showcase your pieces. Just think of what your friends will say... "I wish >I< had a Kennedy Assassination Chess Set!" "Teddy Kennedy is a bishop?" "Wow! Those splattered brains look so REAL!" "The barium is so tasty!" "Is that Ted Nugent over there?" "No, that's Newt Gingrich.. Ted's behind Cthulhu" Order today. Dial 1-800-JFK-DEAD. Visa, Mastercharge and American Excess accepted, offer void in the event of Bob's second coming. {---End Of File.. Safe-T-Penis says "3323 bytes total"------------------------} why do we care how big the file is? just in case it's infected with the WHORE! virus, you'll know.. BLaH ts 708-251-5094 § Nun-Beaters Anonymous - BLaH WHQ § [IL] 708-965-8965 § Carbon Nation § [IL] 305-927-3028 § The Insane Asylum § [FL] 419-475-3089 § The Realm Of Death § [OH] 819-778-0454 § Brain Damage § [QC] Vote BLaH in '92.. Paula Ferguson for president! It's time to put a woman in the white house who isn't afraid to admit that she has no testicles! {---FNORDline--Mahabon, Jabulon, Boopsie, etc..-----------------------------}