=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I don't like chick-flicks ------------------------- How can you say that, as a guy, and not get "the look". How can you 'fess up to the fact you don't like sappy, romantic, heart-felt films without looking the standard issue, testosterone-fueled, remote-hogging, car-fixing, sports-watching, Arine-cheering, guy? It's simple - I don't like chick-flicks. I didn't like "Sleepless in Seattle", I didn't like "Pretty Woman", I won't see "Steel Magnolias", and I can't STAND "Ghost". I don't like 50% of the "romantic comedies". I did like "When Harry Met Sally", but let's not push it. If there is woman, a man, and romance at risk facing almost insurmountable odds, I'd just as soon be on HOLD with Microsoft tech support than sit through the *@&%!# credits of "Beaches". Why? Well back off already, 'cause it's NOT for the reason you think. I also don't need 8,300 rounds of ammo and the explosion of the Nagatomi building to make a film; It's not because I'm "afraid to love" (hel-lo 1980's...); and it's not because I'm worried about having the 'guys' catch me weeping at the end of "Tears of Endearment". So then, why? Because they are not realistic. I'd believe that "Return of the Jedi" was based on actual events before I'd find chick-flicks believable. Let's take "Pretty Woman" as an example. First off, I found pairing of Stallone and Estelle Getty more convincing in "Stop or MY Mom Will Shoot" (and to save my credibility, no, I didn't see it...), than the billionaire and the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold combo. Secondly, if Bill Gates can hook up, I am POSITIVE that lonely billionaires can meet women without resorting to prostitutes. It's not really the discrepancies that make these movies so bothersome either. I'd just as soon try to explain the physical realities in a Road Runner cartoon than take action/adventure head-to-head with romantic-drama. I think it's the standard you are suddenly held to that makes them to painful to bear. Gentlemen, how many times have you seen a click-flick with a girlfriend, and suddenly been faced with the question, "Why don't you do that for me?" "Do what? Propose to a hooker?" "NO, I mean romance me like that." "I dunno...maybe because you weren't a hooker?" "I'M NOT SAYING THAT. I MEAN would you do all that for me?" "You mean pick up a hooker?" You get the idea. See one of these movies, and suddenly you're romantically inadequate. All of the sudden you are expected to fill a room with roses, fly in by helicopter to propose, or travel cross-country on a moped to say you're sorry. I can't deal with the stress. At least when I see Bruce Willis escape an explosion attached to a fire hose, I KNOW that there is NO WAY I'll been held to that standard anytime soon. The closest I want to get to a chick-flick is "The Crow". Why? Because if my girlfriend asked me "Would you come back from the dead to avenge my death?", I could say "Yes" and sit on my laurels after that. You know why? 'CAUSE I'LL NEVER HAVE TO! In fact, I'd be MORE than glad to send a gang of thugs to their graves for m'lady - but cut this "meet me on top of the Empire State at such-and-such remote-date-in-the-future" shit in order to prove my affections. I've got nothing against this type of movie if I see it alone. When I'm not watching with my girlfriend, at least I can't but it in the proper prospective as far as being a work of fiction. But if this shit doesn't let up, next time I see "Raiders of the Lost Ark", I'M gong to start asking why SHE won't drink a bunch of guys in Nepal under the table, mow down a group of Nazis with anti-aircraft gun, and find religious artifacts with me anymore.... - capone =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Files through AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=