Oh my GawD! ***** Yes, I'll be gone till November. ***** More from GwaD! The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated Brings YOU 5 Brand Spanking New Text Files for Thanksgiving 1998! (Issues 62-65 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime AND GwD: Five Years of Domination - a GwD Special!) -=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=- gwd62.txt - The Greeny Files (Chapter 1) (by Priest), gwd63.txt - Untitled? (by Lobo Licious), gwd64.txt - The GwD Guide to Being a Perfect Boyfriend (by Snotty), gwd65.txt - Whine (by Purpldrgn), AND.... gwdfyod.txt - GwD: Five Years of Domination (by a buncha people). -+- GREEN is GOOD. -+- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** Summaries of New Issues ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** "The Greeny Files (Chapter 1)" = GwD62 = If Chapter 1 is any indication, Priest's new "Greeny Files" storyline promises to be highly interesting and entertaining. Based on events from Priest's own life, the story follows the missions of an assassin. ----- "Untitled?" = GwD63 = Lobo Licious's first solo-file in two years. LL gives us a stream of consciousness look at his life and times, including insight into his very soul. Or not. ----- "The GwD Guide to Being the Perfect Boyfriend" = GwD64 = Snotty tells the ground rules for being a perfect boyfriend, or at least a perfect boyfriend for her. She does give great hints on dating ALL women; this is a must-read for the teenage and/or twenty-something single male. GwD accepts no liability if these tips do not work in any and/or all cases. ----- "Whine" = GwD65 = New dr00g Purpldrgn discusses many things, from Attention Deficit Disorder to stalkers to that annoying ringing you hear when someone calls you on the telephone. A must read. ----- GwD Special - "GwD: Five Years of Domination" - GwD Special = GwDfyod = GwD looks back on its first five years, from the Cannibal Hillbilly Army of Satan BBS (CHAOS), where it all began, to GwaDFest98, the celebration which accompanied our Fifth Anniversary. Written by many authors, it is a patch-work of a textfile in much the same way that GwD is a patch-work of a group. Whatever the hell that means. This is the first file that accurately reflects GwD as a whole. ----- -+- GwD - Now with Diarrhea Bombs!! -+- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** What's going on in Grenedom? ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** -> HEADLINES <- The biggest news in GwD circles is that our main website has moved to "http://www.GREENY.org/". Our old site (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/) still exists, but is now the base for "GwD Publications," one of the larger subsidiaries of GwD, Inc. The GwD Publications is soon to move to "http://gwd.mit.edu/", though, so watch for that move. Our other large subsidiary is DOMINATION records, our record label. It can be found at "http://www.GREENY.org/domrec/" or questions can be sent to "domrec@GREENY.org". Other subsidiaries of GwD, Inc. include "GwDRadio," "GwDTV," and "GwDFilms." Along with the change of web address has come a new contact address (gwd@GREENY.org), a new submission address (submit@GREENY.org) and a new subscription process: E-mail "subscribe@GREENY.org" from any address to be added automatically to the mailing list...in the "subj:" area of the message, type the address(es) that you wish to subscribe to the list (leave the body of the message empty). As if by magic, our server will then e-mail a letter to the address(es) to make sure they actually desire a subscription and explaining how to unsubscribe (though we have no idea why anyone would ever want to do that). Other changes in procedure due to our procuring of our own domain can be found on GwDweb (http://www.GREENY.org/). -> OTHER NEWS <- In the last issue of "GwDNEWS" we told of the two groups of Pretenders to the world Domination Throne who had declared war on us (these "Declarations" were further discussed under "Other Stuff" in GwD60). We are happy to let you know that one of these groups (the one we took half-seriously) is no longer in existence. fWd (a.k.a. future World dominators - capitalizing the wrong part of the acronym was only their *first* crime against us) no longer poses any threat to GwD. That's right, boys and girls, we have eradicated the fWd menace from the face of the earth. First, we infiltrated the group. Then we sabotaged their already badly coded website, erasing it from geocities. We did not stop there, oh no. Unfortunately, details of our more covert operations against specific members of the group are still classified. They will be made available to the public in 555 years, as pursuant to the Articles of Dr00gan Covert Operations, section 43D, subsection 15561.23. We *can* tell you, though, that no one will be hearing from fWd for a LONG time. Any communication from anyone claiming to be affiliated with "fWd" is false and should be forwarded to GwD so we can deal with it accordingly. Just remember...we were merciless with these insolents who were only 14-15 years old. Imagine what we would do to adults. Or what we ARE doing to the group we are *actually* at war with, TOFTAOBL. The other group of l0sers who "declared war," known as "John's Cult" still seems to be in existence. However, as previously stated, we don't take them very seriously; they are nothing but a bunch of kids who sit together for school lunch. Their only correspondence with us since our reply to their petty declaration was when we announced GwaDFest. As they are on the mailing list, they received that invitation and replied with something along the lines of: "Why would I go to your stupid party? You can't even brainwash someone as stupid as me." Though paraphrased here, that was quite witty. Calling themselves stupid to throw us off was sooooooo fucking clever. We're really scared of them. Oh no! We probably won't hear from them much (except maybe when they read this) because they seem to be somewhat.....slow. No one else has declared war on us, but we are NOW FIVE YEARS OLD. HOLY CRAP. (see gwdfyod.txt) The release of the premier issue of "GwD Adult" is STILL postponed indefinitely. E-mail Seth the Man to voice your opinion on this matter. -> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <- If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.), DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby. Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted, articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit, even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you). -> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <- [All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on the part of GwD. Yeah.] ----- Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 17:20:32 -0500 To: gwd@GREENY.org From: Yancey Slide Subject: Attn Bitch Central Why aren't the new pictures up on the GwD page? Huh? Huh? [Because, dammit, we're a bunch of slow-asses over here at GwD Central. We'll get to it when we're good and ready.] [Besides, they're up *NOW*. Sure, it's three months after you sent that letter, but oh well. We're busy. Yeah, that's it.] ----- From: suzanne@privacy.co.uk Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 11:43:12 +0000 Subject: Call my Bedroom Directly !! To: gwd@GREENY.org Call My Bedroom Directly!!! DO it with me in MY BED!!! CALL me NOW Before My Parents CUM HOME!!! My Phone Number is 1-664-410-3282. (Any Guy 18 or over only, please. I don't want to get into any trouble!) [Where the HELL did this come from?!? Why us?] ----- Date: Sat, 22 Aug 1998 18:00:57 -0400 (EDT) From: "Yes, Okay" Subject: sunyata bbs! To: gwd@GREENY.org Reply-to: "Yes, Okay" i was bored so i made a cute, nice little modified version of obloid. it's a bbs! it's sunyata bbs! you're invited to login and try it! it's generally made for our little bastard community, so uhm, be warned. the url is http://www.dto.net/sunyata/ and to logon as a new user, type "new" with no password. check it out! it's nice! = yes, okay / the hippest man alive today / okay@dto.net = = yes, okay. yes, okay. are you okay? / http://www.dto.net/okay = ----- From: StoneFreee@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 00:40:33 EDT To: [recipient list suppressed. well, not really, but we're not gonna give out 94 e-mail addresses just because this guy did.] Subject: Realistic Cybersex Greetings--It's come to my attention that your web-site is posting an article I wrote entitled "Realistic Cybersex", with it attributed to "anonymous" or without a byline. I wrote the story and own all rights to it. It first appeared in Playboy Magazine in the July 1996 issue. You have the choice of pulling the article off your site altogether or contacting me with a payment offer to leave it on your site with the proper byline added. If you're selling ads on this site, obviously it's going to cost you a little more because you're making money off of my property. You can easily verify that I am the author by contacting Playboy Magazine or the Authors Registry at www.authorsregistry.org. I'll be checking in on your site to see if everything is nice and legal. If not, I'll be forced to take legal action. Greg Grabianski Stonefreee@aol.com ----- From: "Mike Kellum" To: "GwD Lobo Licious" Subject: INTERNET PROSTITION Dear GwD Lobo Licious, Here is a pretty intresting press release we think pertains to your ezine. For more information please contact Mike Kelum (702) 791-3215 or email: admin@vegasgirls2u.com You can also preview the site at http://www.vegasgirls2u.com -- Actual outcall girls and guys are available for interviews or appearances. President John Zito is also available for comment. Press Release-For Immediate Release Internet Prostitution? LAS VEGAS, September 1, 1998 - The promotion of outcall girls is online. The controversial, newly launched http://www.Vegasgirls2u.com website is the first collection of hundreds of professional outcall girls who are available 24 hours a day to come direct to your Las Vegas hotel room to strip totally naked and dance for you in the privacy of your own room. With both men and women available, nude photos are displayed with a brief description, including measurements, interests, and phone number. The site is run by First Class Incorporated (President, John Zito) which has been running outcall services in Las Vegas for the last 15 years. Police allege the site is nothing more than a front for prostitution. Zito denies those allegations. First Class Incorporated has dabbled in the adult 'online market' but never before were girls accessible directly online for in-room service. Zito, who is not only posting a large collection of girls from his agency, has added a non-agency section, consisting of advertisements placed by young Las Vegas girls looking for effective avenues of promoting services without the restrictions of a large agency. In an ever-competitive Las Vegas adult entertainment market the first-of-itís-kind website is estimating an incredible response to their online catalogue-style selection of women. [At first, we wondered why this would be sent to us. Then we realized that we are the natural choice, due to our religiously-sanctioned support of pornography. And what is live nude girls dancing in your hotel room if it's not porno? Beats the hell out of us.] ----- Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1998 14:22:21 -0500 From: Jack Vance Organization: Parsons High School, Parsons, KS To: gwd@GREENY.org Subject: web-site dear fellow physics teacher, i found your web site on the net and i am very impressed by the entire thing and the effort you must have put into such a feat. However, i am somewhat displeased by the language used in some of the explanations of the various concepts taught. I agree some of the stuff is "damn cool" but here in Kansas we would be shot for using such expressions to students. how do you get away with such? sorry is this offends you but i appreciated your site less than i could have because the language distracted me. sincerely, jack vance chem/physics parsons high parsons, ks. 67357 [What?] ----- [ICQ Message from Felix. 11-19-98] I was a sock for a while but noone would put me on their hand fuckers in thought-jail "sock on the foot sock on the foot sock on the foot" like they couldnt just put me on their hand for once and make me a puppet? ----- From: boston@linkeasy.net Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 04:15:15 -0600 (CST) Subject: Hello To: boston@linkeasy.net UNIVERSITY DEGREE PROGRAMS ---- Increase your personal prestige and money earning power through an advanced university degree. Eminent, non-accredited universities will award you a degree for only $200. Degree granted based on your present knowledge and experience. No further effort necessary on your part. Just a short phone call is all that is required for a BA, MA, MBA, or PhD diploma in the field of your choice. For details, call 303-480-8252 ----- From: fertilityinformation@usa.net Date: 10/27/98 8:45:55 PM Pacific Daylight Time Subject: $1000/wk donating Sperm To: fertilityinformation@usa.net Interested Sperm Donor, Thank you for expressing your interest in the sperm donor program. In the pas few months, the National Fertility Research Association have been working quite arduously at matriculating qualified sperm donors via the internet. This task has proven quite arduous because in general, we have found there to be a a great lack of familiarity about sperm programs and its just monetary rewards that they can provide. Our goal is to educate you about how you can participate in the sperm donor programs and at the same time, derive monetary benefits from the program. Currently, we are seeking to register males 18-55 years old into the sperm donor program. Donors are being paid $150 for the initial visit and $100 for each additional visits during each week. As a donor, you have will have the right to confidentiality, and to preserve that right, you will be assigned a certification number prior to visiting the sperm bank(s). Your certification number will take the place of your identity, and will allow for complete confidentiality. All payments to you will be made in cash, at the sperm bank, and subsequent to each time you provide a sperm sample. You may sign up right now by reading the set of criteria below: In order to become a donor, you will need to be provided a certification number, a registration letter, an information packet, a Confidentiality non-disclosure agreement, and addresses of the centers nearest you. [Umm....yeah.] ----- ~~~~~ -*- GwD: The world Domination Abomination -*- CONTACT: The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc. http://www.GREENY.org/ Pubs - http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/ - Pubs ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/ gwd@GREENY.org P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490 - for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance - The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993 by Lobo Licious - copyright (c) MCMXCVIII GwD, Inc. ***** release date 11-26-98 -*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN10