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                >> "Here's The Story of a Cat Named Buddy" <<

                                by -> Trip

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 "It's 3:45 am.  Where the hell is my food? I'm a cat!@ I require mass
 amounts of food, you dumbbutt humans!@ feed me!@" Buddy thought to himself.

 "ME0W!@#$#@$#$@%%$&"

 Mari walks in, half dazed and smoking a cigarette. A cheap cigarette. Mari
 radiates a vibe of 'you damn cats are eating me out of home and cigarettes'
 with a mere glance, as she passes to the counter. The same routine every
 morning, unchanging, yet Buddy and his fellow felines feel determined that
 if they don't constantly pester Mari for their daily dosage of Friskies Cat
 Food, they may never eat again.

 "M300000000W!@@!#@!@!@!@!@~!~!@"

 "I'M GETTING IT, you ungrateful little bag of fur."

 "me0ow!@?"

 "You heard me."

 Mari takes a can from the stock pile of Friskies, reaches for the can
 opener, and prepares the band of renegade felines their food. Buddy, growing
 ever hungry, is constantly under her feet, going in circles, meowing like
 nobodies business.

 Bridget and Buddy, in unision, "ME0W!@!@!@@@!"

 "IT'S ALMOST FUCKING READY, YOU RAT BASTARDS."

 "meow."

 Battling her way through a barrage of cats, she reaches down & retrives the
 food dishes. Scooping food into each dish, she meshes it all into a coarse
 gravel-like texture.

 "Why do i bother? I should just put this in the dish in one big chunk,
 they'll still fucking gobble it down."

 She finishes meshing the food.

 Now, Clairance has been awoken by the pleasant aroma of the fish flavored
 food, and is now in the bunch. A large, 20 pound albino American White Hair.
 Clairance gets beaten daily by the two, smaller cats, and has the scratches
 to prove it.

 Petting him, Mari puts Clairance's bowl on the ground first. "Poor kitty."

 "ME00000W!@!#!#!@!@#$$#&^"

 "Don't make me get violent, Buddy."

 Finished with her morning chore, Mari puts the two dishes for Buddy and
 Bridget on the ground, and they immediately begin eating like wild animals.

 Mari begins to stumble back to bed, and is met in the hallway by Marc.

 "Mom, can you make me a bagel?"

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    * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #145 -- written by Trip -- 12/9/97 *