'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #294 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "New Teenage Girl Magazine: Girl Vibe" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Quarex !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/19/98 !! !!========================================================================!! Pages 1-284: Advertisements for the following products ====================================================== * "Pretty happy love bunny cutemagic sticker" home pregnancy tests. * "Make your hair look the same as every other fucking girl's" shampoo and conditioner. * "Please disregard my protruding fucking ribcage" dietary supplements. Preferred by 4 out of 5 goddamn useless bitches. * "Bloody Fucking Shit" tampons, tested better than Lightdays Longs in trials of 100 randomly selected marmosets. * "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" Feminine Napkins. And many miscellaneous nail polish ads. Page 285: Table of Contents =========================== Is Your Cheating Boyfriend Really Worth Dumping pg. 286 If He Has A Hot Ass? Why You Cannot Get Pregnant If He Cares About You pg. 290 Pictures Of And Interview With Attractive Man Who pg. 296 Will Be Dead And/Or Forgotten In Five Months Totally Embarassing Stories About Your Period pg. 302 Girl Vibe Presents: Encouraging Story Of Triumph pg. 308 Of Girl Over Troubling Situation Involving Heartache Quiz: Are You REALLY Into Hal Holbrook? pg. 314 Preview: More Fashions You Would Have To Be A pg. 316 Fucking Idiot To Find Appealing Girl Vibe Presents: Interview With pg. 320 Extremely Sympathetic Figure Makeover Monthly: Looking More Plastic pg. 326 Totally Embarassing Stories About Your Period pg. 330 In A Classroom Situation The Importance Of Being Earnest pg. 334 Ask Charles Darwin pg. 340 A Crude Drawing By A Retarded Girl pg. 346 Girl Vibe Presents: Advertisement Section pg. 348 Next Month's Features Section pg. 84,310 Back Cover: Large Mosaic Of Quarex, Lord Of Flies !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #295 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 11/19/98 !!