'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #383 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Microsoft, Clinton, and Mogel's Balls"  !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Vyrus                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/25/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        This file is for Mogel because he always pestered me to write
 a h0e.  But I never did.  But today he didn't pester me so I'm going to
 write one just to spite him.

        It's going to be worthless and pointless, so hate me if you will,
 but don't hate my good looks.

        Microsoft sucks balls.  I work as a web developer using (barf)
 Microsoft technology, and I really have to say that Microsoft sucks
 balls.  Big balls.  Big hairy juicy nuts with crusty cheese dripping off
 the sides.

        But enough about Mogel's balls.

        Did I mention that this file is going to be truely worthless and
 pathetic?  No?  Well it is.

        Alanis Morisette sucks, too.

        Okay, wait, this isn't going to be one of those "everything
 sucks" files anymore.

        How about my son?

        My baby boy was born on 12/5/98!  I'm so happy and proud.  He is
 the epitomy of babies.  Eating, sleeping, shitting, and looking around
 curiously.  He's cute though, so I'm not TOO disappointed.

        His mom is happy... and she sits home all day and plays with him
 and smells his ass when he shits.  I work 9 1/2 hour days to support
 the three of us.  I'm 19.  That fucking sucks.

        Oops.  There's that "sucks" word again.

        Bill Gates is a pud.  I want all his money.  I want to take him
 and scream "fUcK j00 b1lL y0U d1rTy th31v1nG bL0aT3d k0d3 pr0d00c1ng As$
 Wh0r3 3y3 h4t3 j00r fUcK1Ng s0fTW4r3 LINUX R00LZ MAN."

        But I'm too elite for that.  Hence, my elitespeak.

        "I'm too sexy for my cat..."

        What the fuck does THAT mean?  I'm too sexy for my cat?  Is that
 some kind of slut ass whore thing like Bill Gates?

        Ah, who cares. Bill Gates is a whore and so is his cat.

        Bill Clinton's cat is a whore, too.  I hear Socks and Gates' cat
 do the funky chicken (funky kitten?) every night, even though they're
 3000 miles apart.

        And Clinton wonders why Chelsea is so ugly...

        IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S THE ILLEGIMATE CHILD OF MONICA LEWINSKY!@#@!
 They look alike!  Can't you tell?  Hillary's just stupid and thought
 when she was really fat, she was pregnent... then that nasty blob that
 shot out of her snatch killed their first cat, Shoes.

        And so Monica dropped Chelsea on their doorstep so that Hillary
 wouldn't feel bad...

        But since they were both inhaling at the time, Hillary didn't
 realize that the thing she shit out wasn't a kid, and when she
 stumbled outside to vomit, she tripped over Monica's/Bill's baby and
 assumed she dragged it along by the umbilical cord.  Hence, Chelsea's
 ugly looks.

        That's MY explanation, anyway...

        I also think China is in cohorts with Iraq.

        BLOW THEM BOTH UP!@!@# FUCKING DIE DIRTY SAND NIGGER GOOKS@!#!@

        (no offense to sand niggers and gooks who may reside in the
 United States.)

        Anyway. Spam. Merf. uNF. poot.

        The End.

        or something...

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #383 - WRITTEN BY: VYRUS - 12/25/98 !!