[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #648 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "Yellow Monster" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " by Rhea 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/17/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] A fly was buzzing in the corner. The buzzing sound above her head almost sounded louder than the bustle of the gray subway station. The fluorescent light above her which flickered a sickly yellow glow on her pale skin was buzzing too. The fly was flying in the corner towards the sickly yellow glowing light and then it flew right smack into it. The fly was flying. Fly was flying. Flew. Fly Flew. Was she sitting in a subway station or conjugating verbs? Both, she guessed. She laughed. The man hunched against the wall a few feet away turned and looked at her abruptly. His face was as wrinkled as the yellow newspapers he was sitting on. Was his skin that yellow or was it the fluorescent light shining on him? Both, she guessed. Maybe if you sat in this horrid station long enough the light would stain your skin, like newspapers in the sun, she thought. His face looked like a grape in the sun. A wrinkled raisin. Raisin man! She giggled again. A train pulled in quickly and loudly to the station. It was almost beautiful, she noticed, in its sleek, cold, metallic splendor. Sometimes it struck her as a monster with those thick bulletproof windows and thick beady eyes of the passengers staring blankly out at her. But today, it was a blessing, and when her train would finally come (delayed 10 minutes--10 years--10 lifetimes?) it would take her away from this ghastly station before her skin turned yellow. Why did some people think yellow was a happy color? Look at that homeless man -- yellow was sickness and depression and all that good stuff. The sun was yellow and the sun, she guessed, was a happy thing but in here the sun might as well not exist. Did it exist? Did she exist? This gray hole would never see real light, just that flickering fluorescent thing above her. She actually didn't mind it in here too much. She liked the way the floor rumbled when a train came in and out. Her work clothes were getting dirty on the cold dusty floor but she'd just be sitting all day once she got to the office anyway. Oh, she dreaded the coming of her train now. She hoped the train men would delay it forever. She wished the office didn't exist. Suddenly something shiny in her corner caught her eye. It was underneath a broken beer bottle and a hamburger wrapper and she almost hadn't seen it. She reached out her pale yellow arm to move away the trash, her long fingers picking up piece after piece of the broken bottle. Finally her fingers touched the shiny thing and she pulled it out and looked at it. Two fuzzy, dirty, blurred eyes looked back at her. It was a little mirror, bright and shiny despite its dirty surface. How long had it been in that corner? Certainly at least as long as she'd gotten the office job. Maybe longer. Maybe her lifetime. 10 lifetimes? It was so shiny and pretty! She imagined how nice it must look beneath the dirty surface, so she reached into her purse and pulled out her packet of tissues, with the blue plastic wrapping and "Kleenex" written in big white letters across it. She pulled out a soft white tissue and began wiping the surface of the mirror. The grime wasn't coming off, to her dismay. Soon she was wiping so furiously that the tissue ripped. "That won't work," said the old homeless man hoarsely. She looked at him through eyes blurred with tears and he gestured to the Kleenex in explanation. "Then what will?" she asked almost frantically. He laughed, slow throaty chuckles that shook his hunched shoulder and revealed stained teeth more yellow than the newspapers. "Damned if I know," he replied, still laughing. Another train pulled up, rumbling the ground beneath her feet. She groaned in disappointment, those horrible yellow numbers read 459. Her train, 459, that went to the office. Tears filled her eyes again, and she stood up, resigned. Many people in the station started walking towards the open doors of the train at once. There were big people, and small people, men and women. They looked like they knew what they wanted. They wanted to get on the train. She didn't even have that. But routine pulled her towards it, and her legs walked slowly to the door. "This sale will be great!" exclaimed a teenage girl to her friend. "All shoes are 30% off!" She looked at the pretty mirror in her hand. She did know what she wanted. She wanted to stay and try to get the mirror clean. Then those fuzzy blurred eyes would be so beautiful! No, she had to work, and she walked to the brightly lit train, already filled with people, feeling like the fly towards that sickly yellow ceiling light. She glanced once more towards the old man. The raisin man. He nodded at her, and she, filled with despair, stepped onto the train. Just as she reached the door, a big woman, arms filled with K-Mart bags, shoved her way past with a coarse, "Excuse me!" She was so startled from being pushed that the mirror fell out of her hand and tumbled to the ground outside of the door. She cried out and reached for it but the door had already started to close, shutting the mirror out of her life for who knows how much longer and now she was trapped in the monster. It had yellow carpet! She needed that mirror! "Stop! Stop the train!" she yelled frantically, but the computers that ran the train couldn't hear her. They didn't have ears. Not even yellow ones. The train rolled away towards the office, and she pressed her tearstained face against the thick glass windows and watched the mirror get smaller and smaller and smaller than a fly, until it was gone. She sat down in a plastic chair dejectedly. Soon the train stopped, and she got out with all the others, and went to work. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #648 - WRITTEN BY: RHEA - 5/17/99 ]