,... $$$$ $$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg. ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$ $$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$ """ """""" """ ggg "Your Call Is Important To Us" ggg $$$ by -> The Prophet $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ [ HOE E-Zine #975 -- 12/18/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$ `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""' Thank you for calling Big Anonymous Company. Your call is important to us. We will answer your call in the order in which it was received. Please continue to hold for the next available Customer Care Associate. [click, click, click, click, long period of silence followed by inane christmas music] Due to high call volume, your approximate wait time will be approximately ... thirty ... eight ... minutes. [inane christmas music] We value your call and truly appreciate your business. Thank you for waiting while our Customer Care Associates are helping others. Your call will be answered in the order received. [more inane christmas music] You can handle many transactions with our company by using our website. Just go to AYCH TEE TEE PEE, COLON, SLASH SLASH, DOUBLE-YEW DOUBLE-YEW DOUBLE-YEW PERIOD BigAnonymousCompany PERIOD com! [more inane christmas music] With Priority Call Answering, your calls will be handled in a priority queue. Priority Call Answering is just $4.95 per month. Please ask your Customer Care Associate for details. [more inane christmas music] Our Customer Service Center of Excellence is ISO9002 certified and our Customer Care Associates are highly trained and empowered to ensure your total satisfaction. Please continue to hold, and the next available Customer Care Associate will assist you. [38 minutes later] Please wait while we transfer your call. You may hear a series of clicks while we transfer your call. Please remain on the line while we transfer you to the next Customer Care Associate. *click* *click* *click* *clunk* *clunk* [long pause] *busy* *busy* *busy* *busy* [sound of phone shattering as it is thrown angrily on the floor] [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #975, BY THE PROPHET - 12/18/99 ]