_____________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------ ------04.07.96-----------------------------------------------------#044------ The World is My Rotten Oyster appreciated by IBFT Stickboy created by Dennis Worden I can remember what bliss felt like.. The echo is still there, though even that is often lost to me.. It seemed more real, more alive than any other state.. Like you knew what it was all about, and this was it.. There was nothing else to want.. But it's all so subjective.. Was it really more "real"? Some say fear is more real or alive than one's average state, but how can it be when its narrowing of reality? Consciousness constricted, illusion made crystalline, limiting our vision.. Fear is a mechanism of survival that's wired too hot, tripping on at every imagined threat, no matter how abstract, small or petty.. That's if you're as sick as most, riding the anxiety-go-round.. Happiness, love, bliss aren't wired hot enough, for some unfathomable reason (if any), and any teeny imagined obstacle can short it out, like "this isn't enough".. Yet it really always is enough, if it's allowed to be, if it's seen that way.. Yet even believing that, I can't make myself happy.. Force doesn't work.. Like trying to fly with a bulldozer.. Or see a rainbow with cement glasses.. Or feel velvet with cast iron gloves.. Or catch a butterfly with explosives.. Force comes out of fear, and 99% of all fear is useless.. ============================================================================== IBFT: No matter how hard you laugh with or at it, you'll NEVER get it. http://www.amherst.edu/~mcspinks/ibft/ibfthome.html email: mcspinks@unix.amherst.edu ftp://ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/IBFT The Eleventh Hour (617)696-3146 ==============================================================================