Û Û [MiLK] Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Mighty Issue #13 Û Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û illicit "MiLK Poetry: Volume 1" Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Liquid By James Hetfield Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Kollections & Mendeleev Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ [MiLK] Poetry, Volume I Yes, Right here we have some of the WORST Poetry, all packed into a Single text file for your viewing DISGUST! Warning: Those who are weak at heart or Poetry Lovers should NOT read further; MiLK poetry has been shown to cause emotional disgust and frustration in laboratory Animals. è "Rose Tinted-Glasses" -Mendeleev è Everything is horrible, everything is dead There is no pleasure to my life, I view the future with utmost dread... I used to lie in the warm sunshine, its rays brightening my room, But now all I see, all around me, is doom, greatest doom Now I sit here, in the ultraviolet rays letting the warm sun fry me, work its most awful work upon me Wishing for a magnifying glass to amplify me Scorn on love, BAH to it, Scorn on life itself My love has left me, My love has left me, and taken my rose-tinted glasses. She was so beautiful, she was very elegant, With a wit and mind to match her looks, And now I must endure her sight everytime she passes.. Lord, what pain and agony there exists for me Yet if I had the chance to do it over, I'd do it all again. è "BathTime Fun" -Jamesy è Splash I feel in the bathtub Owch, my head Blood trickling out all over my newly scrubbed tub Damn you, why did you have to push me Mother? è "Christian Fundimentalist" -Mendeleev è I like to KILL I like to eat flesh and have blood and guts hanging between my teeth! I love the stalking of the prey The excitement as I pounce, and tear apart human skin and bones I also like sacrificing small furry animals every full moon What am I? Muahahahhahahhah! è "Why I Belong To The NRA" -Jamesy è Beauties are bathing by the beach birds of great majesty the shot fired from my rife; not as pretty a sight, are they? è "Man's Best Friend" -Mendeleev è The beautiful woman was walking down the street Her legs the finest I've ever seen, her body (and I am sure her mind as well) quite sharp; Then I unleashed my doberman on her She doesn't look too hot any more è "Coffee Shop Talk" -Mendeleev è I suck, boo-hoo Don'tcha know it Evil, black, loathing I can't get over it Please pity me. è "Repent" -Jamesy è I ate my pet Cat Hairball, Can't get rid of it! no matter how much I cough I still am sentanced to the itch in my throat è "Consumerism" -Jamesy è Slurpy Remember how we loved you? Now you've been attacked. Slush-Puppie How DARE you embark on his terrain? Prepare for a Duel to the Death! You shall not withstand our barrage! Once you think you've got us beat you'll see the Spurpy on SALE! Your days are numbered, Slush-Puppy I hope you're praying, and praying hard... For God cannot even Save you Now. è "Calculator" -Mendeleev è I punched in a one, and I tried to divide it by zero, but my calculator wouldn't give me the answer, and I got really mad I told it if it wouldn't give me the answer, I would smash it, and I was fair Don't say I wasn't I gave it another chance, But it still gave me an error message So I threw it against the wall I threw it at my mommy and my daddy Until it was dead No one messes with me. è "Aggressive Driving" -Jamesy è Splat Little mr fly just felt the rush of a lifetime! Ouch Look how his ass just went through his head! Yuck I'm gonna have to clean that mess up Growl Stupid Fly, he should know better than run into my car è "Meditations, Part I" -Jamesy è Ever/wonder/what/happens/when/you/masterbate/and/you/leave/yourself/all/messy? /Well,/the/icky/residue/left/on/your/body/has/been/shown/to/clear/up/Acne!/ it's/true./A/proven/fact! è "Red Pen" -Mendeleev è My teacher uses a red pen She used one to give me an 'F' I got so mad, I took that fucking red pen And rammed it through her hand The principal yelled at me, and so did my mommy and so did the Dean they didn't like it, So I took my daddy's shotgun and gave them each a third eye There, damn bitch, I told you. è "Growing Up" -Jamesy è Armpit Hair I hate you... you're so smelly I just Want to shave you off just for fun Stop Staring at me... I just don't like none This Pubic Hair stuff... makes me sick. Icky! è "Meditations, Part II" -Mendeleev" è It/must/be/true/that/is/what/jh/just/said/because/i've/never/had/a/pimple/on/my dick/so/oh/well/I/don't/know/it/may/just/be/a/coincidence. è "Summer of '93" -Mendeleev è The breeze blew in from lake Michigan And the sun shone upon this land When I revved up my Dodge And ran down an evil witch masquerading as a squirrel, who just happened to be crossing the road è "Ralphie" -Jamesy è Ralphie Be a Good Boy, eat your supper! Ralphie Be a good boy, take out the garbage! Ralphie Be a good boy, help your mother with those dishes! Ralphie Be a good boy, go play in traffic Ralphie Be a good boy, do your homework Ralphie Be a good boy, shoot that Commie Ralphie Be a good boy, stay away from those Foreign people Ralphie Be a good boy, help mommy with that dress Ralphie Be a good boy, mommy wants a spanking Ralphie Be a good boy, scrub mommy where she can't reach Ralphie Be a good boy, Don't tell those Policement the truth Ralphie Be a good boy, this won't hurt a bit... you'll actually like it Ralphie Be a good boy, stab your father. Ralphie Be a good boy, come right home after prison. è "Spooge on Me" -Jamesy è Spooge on me I like it that way Spooge on me This isn't a song Spooge on me Poodie Killing snoopy doggy Spooge on me splat smooch sniff cry Spooge on me Out the door in the house Spooge on me a;lsdfjkas;jkldfasdl;kfj Spooge on me. è "Unsolved Mysteries!" -Mendeleev è The following is a real life story, not a dramatization or fictional event So what, asshole? I am going to stalk your ass, and you won't fucking care whether your syndicated TV series does well according to that blowjob Nielsen You're gonna' fucking burn in yer own house, bastard. Now tell me more about the alien sightings. è "Artistic License" -Mendeleev è I came down to the main channel, and some guy practicing to be Tipper Gore's censorship advisor Told me what I thought was poetry, wasn't really poetry, get a load of that Artistic license, motherfucker. è "ChildHood Revisited" -Mendeleev è I sit here in the night, haunted by a being Blackness all around me, I sit here in the day, haunted by a being Light all around me, Nothing can make it go away, Not my friends or my parents, not even me I am haunted by that being, the being I call Snuffy, the teddy bear. The root of all evil in the universe exists in my bedroom. è "PowerWalkers" -Mendeleev è A mild annoyance to me, you see Is powerwalkers, they clutter the damn street What, you expect me to steer around them, AND those damn parked cars? I can't do it, its IMPOSSIBLE, thats why I bought myself a truck, and NOW I run those darn powerwalkers over Damn bitch, toldya'! è "Snoop Doggy Dog 3l1t3" -Mendeleev è Woof, Woof I collect WaReZ Good warez, all warez Woof, Woof I never play my WaReZ I just collect them, Woof, Woof I distribute my WaReZ anf get lots of file points Woof, Woof I am a WaReZ maniac, cantcha tell? I have no life è "GaNSTaWiTHaBuRGeR" -Mendeleev è I will have 16 burgers to go cheeseburgers, with bacon, lettuce, and tomato On a sticky, flat, seseame-seed bun I'll pay you $1.99, cuz that's the deal You give me da' burgers, and No harm comes to your kids. See? I am the modern gangster, my money is cholesterol, thats how I strike fear in your hearts and minds. è "Orgy" -Mendeleev è Wait, is this your arm? Whose leg is this? I'd kinda like to know who I am having carnal knowledge of If its that fat ugly chick that jumped onto the bed at the last minute, man, I'm outta here. è "Calculus" -Mendeleev è Lots of numbers, and cool squiggly lines, all over my paper! that used to be a living tree. è "Mortal Kombat - 2001" -Mendeleev è Stanley the Faggot-Warrior throws some acid onto Belch the Andromeda-monsters face, and then fatalities him by turning into a hooker, and suffocating the poor beast between his breasts. è "Cold Toilet" -Mendeleev è I walk to the bathroom in the still of the night prithee! a creaking step, I step over it And enter the linoleum-tiled washroom, with its king the Toilet presiding I walk over to the toilet, and challenge it, and begin And after I am done, exhausted I feel a shiver begin deep within me, and run through all my being Behold, that mysterious effect, piss-shiver. Beware, and Be afraid, be very afraid. è "yA kNoW iM sTrAPPeD" -Mendeleev è Shoot the sherrif.. Cop-killer Makes no difference to me I just like throwing rocks from high bridges onto passers-by down below. è "The Romantic Urban Child" -Mendeleev è lets be sensitive lets be kind to each other lets love, and share our toys, because, after all, aren't we all people? Thats right, can I borrow your UZI? è "PC Cola" -Jamesy è President's Choice Cola How you slide down my throat when I take a big gulp of you ... But are you Really Bill's Choice? è "Rhyme Scheme" -Jamesy è I lied. This isn't a poem. I lied. This is a poem. è "True Love" -Jamesy è I love you from the botton of my heart I love you from the top of my head to the tips of my toes I love you so much I can't describe how much I love you I love you more than Bill loves Hillary I love you more than Oxygen loves Fire I love you so much Love is just flowing out of me Can we fuck now, bitch? è "XXX Text File Revisited" -Mendeleev è I was out driving, when I saw a hooker by the side of the road, so of course, I stopped, and Being a courteous, mannerly boy invited her in, and quite raucously, Wouldn't you like to know the rest? è "Jerry" -Jamesy è oh do I like the little ladies too bad they can only be loved once Gee, just their smell lights me on fire ... Tastes Just like Chicken! è "Newt Hunting is Illegal in November" -Mendeleev è 'twas early morning when the sun sent its first ray over the hill, exploring what it may, in the dusk diminishing, the grasses dim We held hands and stared over the horizon, where the future seemed so hopeful, and a thrill seared my limbs with a cold shiver, made me feel alive The love between us, what a tangible thing it seemed, its ties strong and ever-bonding But that was before the errant bullet fired by a sight-impaired hunter entered the back of your skull, pressuring your brains out your ears, and finding its exit hole right over the eye where I kissed you the night before, blood flying everywhere.. Well, don't matter now, I have a new girlfriend. è "Happy Thoughts" -Jamesy è Damn Bitch, Told you Eat me now you whore of whores Dude, Like What 'Da Fuck... Damn Bitch, Told You Off Ho!!! è "Metallica" -Jamesy è Metallica Sux They can go suck my cock James Hetfield...Eat me Lars Ulrich... Suck me RAW Kirk Hammett... Learn Guitar Jason Newsted... Fuck off Cliff Burton... You're Dead This Band Can Rot in Hell. è "Ruthless" -Jamesy è I feel no pain It's stopped, the rain I can't think strait anymore My Mother spread on the floor. A Sloppy job, I have done Should have shot her with a gun but No, I had to use the knife Noiselessly I ended her life Daddy isn't happy with me Seeing Mom Lying next to me Fuck him è Thank you for Reading this installment of MiLK Poetry.. If you'd like to Submit to MiLK Poetry, or ANY text files of your own, Please U/l them to the [MiLK] HQ, Barney's Pleasure Palace! è è è è è è è è è è è è è è [MiLK] Information è è è è è è è è è è è è è è è [MiLK] Sights - Barney's Pleasure Palace! (708)965-3098 The Lunatic Phringe (708)232-0565 [MiLK] Member Listing - James Hetfield Nyarlathotep Epic Plaid Wilderbeast Mendeleev [MiLK] Issue Number - 13 [MiLK] Issue Size - 14263 Bytes [MiLK] Date of Production: 2/20/93 è è è è è è The World is Meltin', So is My Jello Puddin' Pop! è è è è è è è è