+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #3 =+ .s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$s. .s$$ $$s. .s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$$$$s. $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$s. $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ s$$$$s .$$$$$$$$$. $$$$ .s$$$$$$$s. $$$$jc(poupey) += "Is poo-poo one word or two?" - Nybar =+ ... .. .. . . YO BITCHES - joltcola we've picked up a new writer, the pilsbury fro boy. bf said he would write, but i haven't gotten his submission yet. oh well. - ... .. .. . . TABLE OF CONTENTS 1; yo bitches - joltcola 2; the truth about republicans - nybar 3; the night before lab - the pilsbury fro boy 4; mission 29843198273 (the truth about republicans #2[yes, we're poupey, and we're not afraid to have two parts of a series in one 'zines]) 5; writer's bios ... .. .. . . THE TRUTH.. ABOUT.. REPUBLICANS!!!!!! -Nybar.. tI lla detrats kcab ni sb.. OH FORGET IT! I WILL NOT BE BRIDED INTO TELLING IT IN.. BACKWORDS WRITING! FIRST... THERE WAS COLONEL SANDERS! HE RULED HIS REALM BY MIND CONTROLLING CHICKENS!!!!!!! HE WAS LOVED BY NONE AND FEARED BY ALL!! THEN.. THERE CAME REBELLION!! NYBAR AND HIS MINIONS BROUGHT HIM DOWN .. BIG TIME!!! BUT HE STILL SECRETLY PLANNED!! REMEMBERING THE POWERFUL DAYS OF OLD, HE BOUGHT A CHICKEN FRANCHISE!!!!! Then, he put his mind controlling additives in certain chickens. The ones which would reach important people. It made them vote against good sense. They formed a council. THE COUNCIL OF THE THEM!!! It's nerve center includes.. The money man, Walt Disney. The power handeler.. Richard Nixon himself. The hidden members... JFK and Elvis.. (they're deaths were faked, then they were brought before the council.) there funnel, Clinton, and the puppetmaster Colnel Sanders. They formed a new party, republicans, with ease. I control resistance. I have on my side, Joltcola (worthless, but helps me write this `zine,) Snakeface, my best field agent, and a brilliant general/politician. Mr.Mojo, intelligence commander. He runs 5 tabloids (which are true) and he has recently gotten the info of the leadership of the Council of the Them. Then, there is The Pillsbury Fro Boy. His fro is so big, it has 5 major cities in it. He is my power broker. He supplies the men for my operation (called STEMAN, IN YOUR HEAD's... little 4 armed creatures who live in his head.) The world is in a state of constant trouble. We managed to take out one of they're best people recently (Nixon.) Still.. we are fighting a losing battle. The nigh endless supply of Ste-Men is running out. We need new agents. The Council is about to end this file, they are coming for me. Please.. NO!!!! NOT YET!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE LIFE IN THE FAST LANE! .. FIN? ... .. .. . . The Night Before Lab - The Pilsbury Fro Boy this was written by nybar and joltcola's brother, the pilsbury fro boy. it's about conditioning rats (based on the night before christmas). wolf hall is where class is held, and B.F. Skinner is a pioneer in the field of conditioning rats to do your bidding. ==POUPEY== <---- divider 'Twas the night before lab; Class had just been let out All the rats They were stirring Because they wanted out To their boxes We took them And placed them with care In hopes that B.F. Skinner soon Would be there The students were nestled In their small little cells While the rats went to the bathroom It emitted a smell My labmates In their kerchiefs And me with my FR0 The 2nd day Of shaping our rats we did go When outside of McKinely there arose such a clatter I jumped from my cubical to see what was the matter Over to Wolf Hall i sped in a dash Climed up the stairs and tripped over the trash The rain from the Street that I Saw from afar Gave a glint to the street That waxed of film noir The sight i then saw it did knock me flat Spome old guy on skates pulled along by eight rats Could it be Santa Clause? No; this guy was thinner And i know in a minute it must be B.F. Skinner More rapid than field mice Because conditioned they came And he hooted and hollered and called them byname: "Now Jerry! Now Speedy! Now Ralph S.! And Micky! On Algernon! Sabastian! Pinky! and Minny! To the top of the building To the top of Wolf Hall Now scurry and scamper and dash away all!" As ungraded papers berfore a whirlwind do fly When out the window students throw them, Mount to the sky So the the top of Wolf Hall his Rats they flew With a bag full of pellets And B.F. Skinner, too And than in an instant on the roof i did hear The scratching and scraping of little feet drawing near I hid in the corner close to the ground As B.F. broke through the window Making quite a loud sound He slipped on the tile And fell on his ass His close they were ruffled and cover with glass A bag full of food pelletes and previous tests He cluthced in his arms held close to his breast With a pair of thick glasses, A coat and a tie, And a receding hair line I know by and by; That this guy was out there Which made me afraid But i knew if he helped us we'd get a good grade He fed all the Rats while through the darkness he lurked And than Cical came in and said "Get out of here, jerk!" Skinner's eyes grew nearly as wide as a grape As he sped up the emergency fire escape He slipped on his skates Which indeed were quite big As his Rats scampered off sort of doing a jig But as his rats pulled him off i did hear him say "Opereant conditioning shapes behavior as a sculptor shapes clay" ... .. .. . . Mission 50235 -Nybar This is a modified report of our biggest success since the original de-throning of Colonel Sanders. It is the real account of what happened to Richard Nixon. ----------------------------------------------- Nybar was reading the ste-man in you head reports. Mixed reports. The Pillsbury Fro Boy (AKA BraveHair) was training rats to do the duties of Ste-Men.. and the Council of the Them (AKA THEY) had taken our secondary base.. complete with 500,000 good men.. ste men. It paled in comparison next to what Nybar < I AM TALKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!! > , Mr. Mojo, and Snakeface were going to attempt. They were going to blow the lid off of The Council of the Thems main source of political power at the time. Pretty boy Richard Nixon himself. ------------------------------------------------------------- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ .. SNORE!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------ The first few parts went fairly smoothly. Mr. Mojo Overrided the security lasers, Snakeface took out the guards (by biting them.. lethal immediatly.) The real trouble started when I confronted Richy. He was prepared for me. I walked into the room.. and saw a.. GIANT DEATH ROBOT!!!!!! It started shooting missiles at me .. while saying "EVEN IF YOU TAKE ME.. YOU WILL NEVER STOP THE WEB DECENCY ACT!!!!!". for the missiles, I simply dodged. One of them, using my high velocity repeller and shot it back at him , making a hole big enough for me to dump a bucket of water into, shorting his circuits. From there.. it was fairly simple to beat him to death. FIN .... .. .... ..... ...... ......... FORIN STORY One day I was pawing through a foriegn language book. It vas neat. So.. I saw that it said popah meant butt, and dinazar means dinasour. So I walked up to joltcola and said "You Dinazar's Popah!!" ()_/-/---/---/-----/------/--------/---------/----------/-----/_() He.. not understanding.. said "AND PROUD!" Then I started laughing . Then he started laughing. Then a big fat calf walked in and started laughing. It was beautiful. Then.. I became a real boy. Fin ..... .... .. . .. writer's bios - JOLT FUCKING COLA and nybar we're HoE and dto posers[tm], we're doing bios for all our writers. nybar - (by joltcola) comin' from the mean streets of delaware this k-cool cat spends his time calling bbs's and playing muds. every once in a while he'll write a hilarious issue of poupey. he's convinced that the appocolypse is coming and that cats will be the only survivors. sometimes he lays in bed at night wishing he were an elf. Turn-ons: cats Turn-offs: republicans joltcola - (by nybar) from the stinking suburbs of newark.. DE, come gansta boy JC. He enjoys going on IRC channels with the name "Bigtits" and laughing at cyber-sex. he is obsessed with infomercials.. and cheese. the cats are beating him up all the time. he is conviced that the apocolypse will never happen.. BUT IT WILL DAMNIT! Turn-ons: naked men Turn-offs: naked men he knows Pillsbury Fro Boy -(by nybar) The brainchild of a mad invenetor working at pilsbury central, he was cursed with dangerously large hair. he was kicked out of his birth place (the lab.) since then, he has invited everyone to come and stay in his hair. He has gone through a period of refinement, from which he emerged COMPLETELY CRAZY!! (and with bigger hair) Turn-ons: Cookie Dough Turn-offs: Short hair .... .............. .. .. . .. Fat Bald and proud jolt ... cola i'm addicted to flinstones vitamins!@# ayieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i like to play ping pong....... with goggles on. "jc, play better" inspirational isn't it? if you're ever going to make a 'zine remember puncation is your enemy! gorf. nybar is looking over my shoulder. he wears sweatpants a lot. they're blue. MMMMM I LIKE HOMEFRIES. that many could kill you@!# sigh. heheheh :) :) :) heheheh !!!!!!! hehehe :) lish!!!!!!!!!!!1 florm gorf hoggle. ... .. . the end poupey #3 - sponsored by bF