_________ __ /_________\ /__\___ // \\_______ // \___\ __________// O \_______\___ _ // O \\ /__________/ O \___\___/_\_// || // O O \___/ \_/ O || // O O O || || O O \\___ || O __ Acme Checklists \___\ \\___ / \_ \\ \___\ O / O O \ by Gross Genitalia O || \\ / / || || O / O O/ Toxic File #89 O || || / / O // \\ /O O / O O // \\___/ / O O ________ ________// \__/ OO / O /_______ \ O /________/ /O O /\__________// \ | O // /_ / \__________/ _____ || O // /\__/ ________ /_____\ \\_______// // /________\___// \\ \_______/ . ||______// \___/ \\ ..... ::: \______/ || ::::::: ::::::::: ||___ ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: \___\ ::::. : : : : ::::. : Centre of Eternity : ::::. .:::. oxic 615.552.5747 :::...::: hock ::::: HQ of Toxic Shock/40 megs/Lotsa files ::::::: [ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts][ts] ACME CHECK LISTS Brought to you by those dumb fucks who wrote Road Runner cartoons. ACME LIST #A-001 WHAT TO TAKE ON YOUR CAMPING TRIP: ___ Sleeping bag ___ Tampons ___ Rotten shit ___ Tent ___ Condoms ___ Fart spray ___ First Aid Kit ___ Aftershave ___ Molding meat ___ Knife and/or Gun ___ Douche ___ Decayed grandmother ___ Pillows ___ Foam ___ Tuna fish salad ___ Inflatable air matresses ___ Raw Oysters ___ Piss jar ACME LIST #A-002 READING LIST - BOOKS YOU NEED ON THE SHELF ___ Webster's Dictionary ___ Complete Book of Witchcraft ___ Guiness Book of World Records ___ The Mythic Tarot Workbook ___ Almanac ___ 101 Ways to Avoid Reincarnation ___ Atlas ___ Earthly Purpose ___ J.R.R. Tolkien books ___ Sexual Self-Help ___ Truth About Witchcraft Today ___ The Illuminatus! Trilogy ___ The Way of the Peaceful Warrior ___ The Necronomicon ACME LIST #B-002 BOOKS YOU DON'T NEED ON THE SHELF ___ The Bible ___ Sweet Valley High Series ___ Life is Tremendous! ___ Bobsy Twins Series ___ Encyclopedia Brown Series ___ Horoscope Books ___ Hardy Boys Series ___ Sex How-To Books ___ Nancy Drew Series ___ The Phonebook ACME LIST #A-003 OBJECTS YOU SHOULD USE FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES ___ Strap-on Dildo ___ Chains ___ Wet Vac ___ Cat-o-nine tails ___ Whips ___ Dustbuster ___ Vibrators ___ PlastiPussy ___ Chainsaw ___ Butcher Knives ___ Dick Enlarger ___ Dill pickles ACME LIST #B-003 OBJECTS YOU SHOULD NOT USE FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES ___ Mustard ___ Empty Douche Bottles ___ Any knife under 10" length ___ Mayonnaise ___ Mannequins ___ Gloves ___ Honey ___ Spanish Fly ___ Poison Ivy Vines ___ Crazy Glue ___ Condoms ___ Rosebush thorns ___ Shedd's Spread ___ LSD-covered vibrator ___ Domesticated farm animals ACME LIST #A-004 CHURCH CHECKLIST ___ New International Bible ___ "I Love Jesus" lapel button ___ Large crucifix ___ Clean, starched, Fundy church clothes ___ Encounter! Magazine ___ Spit-shined shoes with crucifix buckles ___ Two Hymn books ___ A big, goofy fucking smile ACME LIST #B-004 ALTERNATE CHURCH CHECKLIST ___ Blue jeans ___ Satanic Bible ___ Pentagram etched in black marble ___ Concert T-shirt ___ Necronomicon ___ The Complete Book of Witchcraft ___ Spiked hair ___ Bad Attitude ___ Pentagram necklace ___ Army boots ___ "High Times" ___ Boom box playing Gwydion Penderwenn ACME LIST #A-005 PARENTAL TORTURE CHECKLIST ___ Exorcism equipment ___ 20" Dildo ___ Needle and Thread ___ Chainsaw (dull blade) ___ Wet Vac ___ Danzig's "Lucifuge" (the best) ___ Stretcher ___ Nitric Acid ___ New Kid's "Hangin Tough" Tape ___ Nail bed ___ Merthyalade ___ Fried dog testicles and a fork ACME LIST #A-006 THINGS TO SAY IN CHURCH THAT ARE TRUE ___ "Jesus and Satan were the same damned person!" ___ "Witchcraft is NOT what the Bible depicts it to be." ___ "UFO's closely parallel and explain events in Revelations." ___ "The consciousness that was Christ's will reimbody soon." ___ "Marijuana will be legalized before 2006." ___ "Hemp is a miracle plant that will save the earth." ___ "Abortions should definitely be legal." ___ "Early Christians accepted reincarnation removed it from the Bible." ACME LIST #A-007 THINGS TO DO TO FUNDAMENTALISTS ___ Call them hypocrites ___ Burn the American Flag ___ Sacrifice a dog in the bapistry ___ Say "Jesus Saves! But Stilorski gets the rebound! He shoots...he SCORES!!" ___ Proclaim that you are the AntiChrist ___ Give them pentagram necklaces for Christmas ___ Ask them if they've been saved by "ol' dead jew" ___ Give them $100 and tell them that's some money you got from selling your soul to Satan during the morning's church service ___ Give them $100 and tell them that's some money you stole from the offering plate that was passed your way [fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq][fuhq] (c)July & September 1990. TS / Gross Genitalia. #89. If you or someone you love wants to become a Toxin, call Centre of Eternity.